I didn’t realize that the older you get, you become more introspective. You think about things differently. Smaller things start to become the big things. Time with loved ones is more cherished. Experiences become full of memories. And when we look back, the bad things seem to fade away but the good memories remain.
If you know me at all, you’ve probably heard me say something along the lines of “I never thought I’d make it to 30.” And it seems dramatic, but it’s true. I remember during my teen years thinking 30 seemed so far. At the time, it felt like my life was full of a lot of hurt, and many times, it was. And throughout the years, I made a lot of stupid decisions because of hurt that had happened. By the time I was 23, I had been in jail twice for drinking and driving. That second time in jail, still to this day, is one of the most pivotal moment of my life. It was time I had to look at myself, at my life and decide that I wanted to be different. I had decided I was going to break generational curses. I was going to live.
While in the jail cell that night back in 2014, I prayed a prayer I still think about. I said to God, every sinners prayer, “if you can get me out of this, I’ll follow you.” That’s all I said. And it seems God heard that prayer.
If I could choose just one word for my life up until 30, it would be grace. The biblical definition of grace is "the love and mercy given to us by God because God desires us to have it, not necessarily because of anything we have done to earn it”.
And I can tell you, I have done nothing in my life to earn the grace that has been given to me. The grace I’ve been given for a second chance. The grace I’ve been given to not be a statistic of alcoholism or death. The grace to help others see God. The grace to travel and serve Him. The grace of family that He has given me in different places. The grace to not only live, but to live for Him.
There’s so many things I wish I could go back and tell my younger self. But as it normally is, hindsight is the best insight. So, today I’m going to write 30 things I wish I could tell my younger self (or anyone who is a teen or in their 20’s wondering what life has to offer):
Everything really is going to be okay. This is something we hear all the time, but I’m here to say, everything will work out, it’s going to be okay. The pain you feel now, won’t compare to the joy that is coming.” Romans 8:28
Don’t worry so much about what other people think. The journey of your life is between you and God.
Love others unconditionally. Even if you feel like no one loves you unconditionally, love others without abandon. Be the reason someone sees the goodness of God.
Eat the pizza. Eat the donut. You’re beautiful the way God made you. He formed you and knitted you in the womb. You are made in His image. Psalm 139
Find something that ignites your joy. And do that.
Forgive others often. Even when you think they don’t deserve it, forgive them because you have been forgiven. Colossians 3:13
Cherish your friendships. As you get older, those kind of friends are hard to come by.
Learn not to react. Often times our reaction to things that happen to us make us full of regret.
Whatever boy you think is worth it, he’s not worth it unless he follows the Lord. Wait for him. He will come some day.
Hold close to the people you love. Family is sometime chosen and given by God.
Thank your teachers. Thank your coaches. Thank your mentors. Thank your friends. Thank your family. Just be thankful for the ones that stick around.
High school isn’t the end of the world. There is a whole world beyond high school.
You have the ability to create different situations than what you grew up in.
Always chase the sunset. There’s beauty in each one.
Enjoy soccer now, those days with your team with long bus rides, pizza for dinner, and championships don’t last forever. They become memories one day. Good ones. And you’ll continue to give back to others through the sport that God gave you.
Life is too short to spend it sad. Smile often. The joy of the Lord is your strength. Nehemiah 8:10
Take the spontaneous road trip. Do something fun with your friends and don’t regret it.
When graduation approaches, take what you learned and plan to make the world a better place. Even though it seems like a scary world, the journey is actually beautiful.
You’re going to make mistakes. You’re going to disappoint someone and you will be disappointed. Use those moments to grow and learn from your mistakes.
You will feel some of the lowest lows of your life during this time. Don’t turn to alcohol or drugs. Turn to the Father. The perfect Father that hasn’t left you and will never leave you. Hebrews 13:5
If I told you at 15, 20, or 25 that you would live in Africa one day, you wouldn’t believe me but being here is one of the biggest ways you will see God’s faithfulness.
Always be kind. Kindness goes a long way. Stop for the person others would pass by.
Do not ever let someone else tell you who you are. Ever. You are a child of God and no other label matters. John 1:12
Work hard in everything you do. Our work is our worship.
Remember it’s not worth it to hold onto things that have hurt us. Let it go and let God handle it.
Don’t wish away time. You will never get ‘right now’ back. Enjoy each moment, even the hard ones.
There will still be hard days. Old hurts will still hurt you. Let the pain come and then give it to God. We aren’t meant to live in that hurt.
Don’t ever settle. God has someone perfect for you. He has a perfect job for you. He has your life planned out. Jeremiah 29:11
Learn to take things day by day and don’t focus on the here and now. Focus on heaven, that’s where the real action is. Colossians 3:2
God is going to give you back more than you lost. At 15, 20, or 25 it may not feel like it. But God is going to restore your life. God is going to give you people who love you. God is going to restore your emotions. God is going to redeem your life. Deuteronomy 30:3
If you made it this far, thank you for reading. This is just a small reflection of my past 30 years. But something I do know, is the next 30 will be better. God gives us victory and I’m so thankful to walk in that victory daily. I will never deserve the grace that God has shown me in my life, but I’ll live each day thankful for my second chance.
