I woke up this morning, on the last day of 2020 not even realizing it was the last day. Normally, the new year brings excitement. Resolutions. New opportunities.
This year, I don’t feel excited.
We all know the story of this year. Covid was the shot heard round the world. It changed a lot of things for almost everyone. But beyond Covid, this year for me, hasn’t really been a good one. When I look back, I struggle to find many positive moments even though they are there.
I’ve asked God many questions, “Where are you?” “Do you see me?” “Why is this happening?”
I know God can handle those questions. There were periods of this year where I felt I couldn’t even pray. I couldn’t even worship. It was hard for me to pick up my bible.
I’m not a stranger to the wondering. If I think back to myself sitting on a jail cell floor in 2014, I asked the same questions: “God, do you see me?”
But I know He sees.
As I was walking this morning, something I couldn’t do just 4 months prior, I listened to a song. The song is called “Beautiful Things” by Gungor. I’ve heard this song before. I listened to it in 2016 when I first came to Africa and I was wrestling with my past. I listened to it even before then, without realising the weight of the words.
“You make beautiful things, you make beautiful things out of the dust. You make beautiful things, you make beautiful things out of us.”
Dust
That is what God can make beautiful things out of.
Brown dust.
God can take it and do exceedingly and abundantly more (Ephesians 3:20)
Dust.
That is how I feel this year has been. Like, I’ve been brought to dust along with many others. It’s been a year of loss, a year of heartache, a year where we couldn’t see an end.
But the story doesn’t end at dust.
The story of the potter in Jeremiah came to me as I was listening to this song:
“5 Then the word of the Lord came to me. 6 He said, “Can I not do with you, Israel, as this potter does?” declares the Lord. “Like clay in the hand of the potter, so are you in my hand, Israel. 7 If at any time I announce that a nation or kingdom is to be uprooted, torn down and destroyed, 8 and if that nation I warned repents of its evil, then I will relent and not inflict on it the disaster I had planned. 9 And if at another time I announce that a nation or kingdom is to be built up and planted.” Jeremiah 18:5-9
We are in the hand of the Potter. The one who holds us is building us up and planting us. God holds us in His hands.
Even in the dust, even in the destruction, even in sadness, death, loss - God holds us in His hands.
As I look to the New Year, it still feels like God is taking us from dust to something beautiful but in the in between we know we are held.
God holds us. God sees us. God knows our future before we know. God is with us. He is the Potter.
From dust to something beautiful, I thank the Lord for bringing me into another year and I trust Him with the rest.
I am held in the Father’s hands.
